Friday, December 14, 2012
Monday, December 10, 2012
Glassman and Renos and kids
Glassman left this weekend. I watched him grab his clothes and put on his shoes, tears forming behind my eyes. As he was leaving he asked me how long we had lived together, when I replied 9 years he said "weird" and walked out the door. I don't know why he has trouble expressing how hard this is on him. I've tried communicating how hard it is on me, and telling him that I still love him deeply - but he just makes fun of me like he always does. It is weird to not have him around, to have him visit instead of being here overnight. His room seems emptier already even though all his big furniture is still here. I miss him already and will probably cry again.
Craftymama in an ever present need to do thing in the house got a vision for the laundry room shelves and in two days they have come out and the beginning of bead board paneling has gone in. It was a quick project and makes that area look all the bigger. I will post pictures when it's done - assuming she took a before picture. I love how bright it looks - and it actually makes the bathroom look bigger because the door can open all the way. In the tearing down process she found a note from 1969:
Craftymama in an ever present need to do thing in the house got a vision for the laundry room shelves and in two days they have come out and the beginning of bead board paneling has gone in. It was a quick project and makes that area look all the bigger. I will post pictures when it's done - assuming she took a before picture. I love how bright it looks - and it actually makes the bathroom look bigger because the door can open all the way. In the tearing down process she found a note from 1969:
very cool. And yes that does say 1969 on it - I guess that's when those shelves went up. It's nice to be restoring an area back to what it was originally. There was even original baseboard behind those shelves. Of course the wall was lath and plaster which is why we had to cover it up. We couldn't find appropriate and budget conscious real bead board so the sheets will have to do - and they do look pretty darn good.
The kids are enjoying advent. At cableman's house the boy's have one of those chocolate advent calendars and R told me as I was driving them home yesterday that he likes our advent calender better because with the other all you do is eat things. Oh melt my heart, I love that we are creating memories like that. So far we have gotten a christmas tree, decorated, made cottonball snow men, put christmas lights in their rooms, gotten christmas library books, written letters to santa and much more - and we are only 10 days in. R is hoping there is one that involves drinking hot chocolate under the tree - and there just might be.
I do love christmas in our house, as stressful as it can be.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Glassman, Money, Christmas
It's December 5th. Glassman still hasn't moved out. He gave us notice late so he technically stay for all of December, but he has made no effort to pack his things or made arrangements with his dad to move out. He wants to do it gradually, which I think will make it more difficult for the kids. He is planning to sleep at his dad's this weekend so we will see how that goes.
His staying also means that the room renos are on hold because we can't move rooms when he is still in one. It's frustrating but okay because....
We are broke as all hell. Between Christmas, and the roof, and the van, and a banking mistake we are having to dip into what little savings we have. This is so infuriating. I feel like we will never get ahead and never get out of this. I know we have to because we can't live like this for the rest of our lives, but I don't have any plans for how we can go about getting out of this. There must be a way though, there must be.
The kids are excited for advent. Every year we bring out the advent calendar and there is an activity that we do in each day. Yesterday, for example, we went to the library for Christmas books, the day before - they made reindeer puppets. It's fun for them to look forward to something every day, rather than just looking forward to Christmas day. It takes some of the pressure off the day.
Speaking of Christmas Day. We have such a nice day planned as always. The morning starts when everyone is awake. Presents are opened one by one while the other family members watch and enjoy the various levels of excitement. It usually lasts until 11:00a. Then the dinner preparations start: with turkey and all the fixins. The day is spent at home having some quality time with family. Then the next day we go visit all the other family members and enjoy Christmas with them. I really like the way we do Christmas in our home. It's quieter, and more wholesome than travelling around every where to see the 5 sets of grandparents the kids have. It's weird not seeing my mom on Christmas as that was our tradition before kids, but it's more important to us that our kids spend Christmas at home and not travelling.
His staying also means that the room renos are on hold because we can't move rooms when he is still in one. It's frustrating but okay because....
We are broke as all hell. Between Christmas, and the roof, and the van, and a banking mistake we are having to dip into what little savings we have. This is so infuriating. I feel like we will never get ahead and never get out of this. I know we have to because we can't live like this for the rest of our lives, but I don't have any plans for how we can go about getting out of this. There must be a way though, there must be.
The kids are excited for advent. Every year we bring out the advent calendar and there is an activity that we do in each day. Yesterday, for example, we went to the library for Christmas books, the day before - they made reindeer puppets. It's fun for them to look forward to something every day, rather than just looking forward to Christmas day. It takes some of the pressure off the day.
Speaking of Christmas Day. We have such a nice day planned as always. The morning starts when everyone is awake. Presents are opened one by one while the other family members watch and enjoy the various levels of excitement. It usually lasts until 11:00a. Then the dinner preparations start: with turkey and all the fixins. The day is spent at home having some quality time with family. Then the next day we go visit all the other family members and enjoy Christmas with them. I really like the way we do Christmas in our home. It's quieter, and more wholesome than travelling around every where to see the 5 sets of grandparents the kids have. It's weird not seeing my mom on Christmas as that was our tradition before kids, but it's more important to us that our kids spend Christmas at home and not travelling.
Friday, November 30, 2012
One Year
It's been one year since we moved from the green house. One year since that awful awful move that left Glassman and I unloading until 4am, and then sleeping in the dining room with boxes all around. One year of trying to make this house into our home. One year - and we are still faltering.
The house isn't ours yet, it is more expensive than we ever imagined it to be, and now one year later - Glassman is moving out. Now money will be even tighter, and how are we supposed to get ahead. I have no idea what we are going to do, no idea how we can make the house ours.
My heart breaks for Craftymama whose heart is breaking over missing the green house and who is unhappy in this house. It's true - we live a lot messier here than we ever did there - and the reason is, we have gotten used to it. It was never in pristine condition, so we have never seen it that way and thus have no motivation to make it that way. The green house was pristine from the beginning and thus was easy to keep that way. We weren't playing catch up like we are here. It's frustrating.
If only there was more time and more money. I'm sad today - sad for many reasons.
The house isn't ours yet, it is more expensive than we ever imagined it to be, and now one year later - Glassman is moving out. Now money will be even tighter, and how are we supposed to get ahead. I have no idea what we are going to do, no idea how we can make the house ours.
My heart breaks for Craftymama whose heart is breaking over missing the green house and who is unhappy in this house. It's true - we live a lot messier here than we ever did there - and the reason is, we have gotten used to it. It was never in pristine condition, so we have never seen it that way and thus have no motivation to make it that way. The green house was pristine from the beginning and thus was easy to keep that way. We weren't playing catch up like we are here. It's frustrating.
If only there was more time and more money. I'm sad today - sad for many reasons.
Monday, November 26, 2012
What Glassman Did
Glassman went and told the girls he was moving out - without me. He told them too much information, like he didn't have enough money to live with us, and he told them without me, without me. It's insane to me that he thought it was okay to do this. This was a conversation I should have been there for, this affects all of us, and they shouldn't have had to hear it from just him. Worst of all, the boys had to hear it from the girls instead of from a loving adult.
I'm disappointed.
I'm angry.
I'm upset.
I'm disappointed.
I'm angry.
I'm upset.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Christmas is coming, and with it the Christmas questions of what to get them. Craftymama and I have differing opinions on Christmas, but we have compromised with a smaller Christmas, but still with Santa.
The kids are each getting a hand knit sweater. I am knitting for K and R and craftymama for LittleR and M. They will also be getting blocks made from tree branches that have been sanded down smooth, and hand sewn stuffed animals. Of course there will be oranges, socks and underwear in the stocking, along with some playsilks. Then each child gets a bigger present. M will be getting a locally made pickup truck with logs, R will be getting a locally made wooden sword and shield, LittleR is getting a bead maze, and K is getting a doll swing for her baby. They are also getting a plan toys car track set that we got used on a local website. It's a pretty awesome and thrifty Christmas, which is nice for me.
Then there are the men, what do we get them? And family, it's so stressful deciding what to do for them. I think we have Glassman nailed down, but Cableman is kind of up in the air. As far as family, I'm not sure what we are doing - there are a lot of family members on my side. My mom, two sisters, 5 nieces and nephews, and then Craftymama's side as well. I wouldn't feel so stressed and pressured about it if they weren't doing anything for me.
Christmas is full of expectations and stress, and I hate that. I would rather spend time with my family as my gift. Give them the gift of my family and spending time one another. I'd rather make dinner for one of them, and have them over at my house to enjoy a meal with us. I like things like that, rather than items. Maybe we can arrange that this year - who knows.
Now what we also need to do is plan Advent - wherein we do one christmassy activity per day - it's quite an exciting and exhausting month for Craftymama and the kids who has to do most of the day time activities. Maybe I can take some holidays (though I doubt it) over Christmas so as to help her where I can.
The kids are each getting a hand knit sweater. I am knitting for K and R and craftymama for LittleR and M. They will also be getting blocks made from tree branches that have been sanded down smooth, and hand sewn stuffed animals. Of course there will be oranges, socks and underwear in the stocking, along with some playsilks. Then each child gets a bigger present. M will be getting a locally made pickup truck with logs, R will be getting a locally made wooden sword and shield, LittleR is getting a bead maze, and K is getting a doll swing for her baby. They are also getting a plan toys car track set that we got used on a local website. It's a pretty awesome and thrifty Christmas, which is nice for me.
Then there are the men, what do we get them? And family, it's so stressful deciding what to do for them. I think we have Glassman nailed down, but Cableman is kind of up in the air. As far as family, I'm not sure what we are doing - there are a lot of family members on my side. My mom, two sisters, 5 nieces and nephews, and then Craftymama's side as well. I wouldn't feel so stressed and pressured about it if they weren't doing anything for me.
Christmas is full of expectations and stress, and I hate that. I would rather spend time with my family as my gift. Give them the gift of my family and spending time one another. I'd rather make dinner for one of them, and have them over at my house to enjoy a meal with us. I like things like that, rather than items. Maybe we can arrange that this year - who knows.
Now what we also need to do is plan Advent - wherein we do one christmassy activity per day - it's quite an exciting and exhausting month for Craftymama and the kids who has to do most of the day time activities. Maybe I can take some holidays (though I doubt it) over Christmas so as to help her where I can.
Monday, November 19, 2012
The Living Room
The living room is next on the list. Craftymama wants to tackle it this weekend. I'm nervous. Big projects like that overwhelm me - mostly the "where are all the things going" aspect. I need to be walked through it a little, otherwise I just collapse in a pile of overwhelmdness and can't function. There are built in book shelves covered with books, where are they going? All the furniture, all the everything.
We are lucky we don't need to live in the living room. The dining room is big enough to function as a sitting room, so we can just close the french doors to the living room and not worry about people touching the walls.
We are doing the living room the same colour as the dining room so they will flow into each other. Right now it is a blood red which suits the gothic type nature of the room, or the colour just makes it look gothic - who knows? So it will be interesting to see it cream coloured. It will be much brighter and seem bigger which will be a great thing for us since the house seems quite a bit smaller than the green house.
But how do I get passed my feelings of how to do it. I can help tape, and prime and maybe paint - but the moving of stuff out and around just frightens the bejeezes out of me.
We are lucky we don't need to live in the living room. The dining room is big enough to function as a sitting room, so we can just close the french doors to the living room and not worry about people touching the walls.
We are doing the living room the same colour as the dining room so they will flow into each other. Right now it is a blood red which suits the gothic type nature of the room, or the colour just makes it look gothic - who knows? So it will be interesting to see it cream coloured. It will be much brighter and seem bigger which will be a great thing for us since the house seems quite a bit smaller than the green house.
But how do I get passed my feelings of how to do it. I can help tape, and prime and maybe paint - but the moving of stuff out and around just frightens the bejeezes out of me.
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